We’ve all been in groups where, if there’s a wipe, someone immediately looks to the healer to place blame.  Generally, that “someone” is the tank, but if a DPS is the first to bite it, they’ll start in on the healer first.  Most of the time, us healy types can shrug it off pretty well, but going into groups where this happens and knowing that it’s *not* our fault (at least not completely)…well, after a while, it takes it’s toll.

As healers, we have a lot to watch: health bars, our mana bar, Omen, what the other players are doing, what the boss/mobs are doing, the area around us to make sure we’re not the ones standing in the bad stuff, etc.  Now, you might think that, no, we don’t need to watch all that, but if it means that the group doesn’t wipe because of a member running off to go loot/herb/mine somewhere and accidentally pulling a mob, then, of course we do. (And if you’re that person who does stuff like that, just quit it.)

With the LFD tool, a lot of the groups I’ve been in brute force their way through instances (with the exception of H-Halls of Reflection, since that one likes to repeatedly bash you over the head and tell you you suck, no matter how well-geared you are).  This means that the tank will pull multiple packs of mobs at a time, and when they’re dead, the tank will race off ahead.

Normally, not a big deal.  On my raid-geared pally and semi-raid geared druid, not so bad.  On my not so well-geared pally who I warn the group at the start isn’t geared the best yet, could be potentially bad.

Overall, she’s done fairly well – most groups don’t care how she’s geared as long as we make it to the end.  But when mistakes are made and wipes happen, she’s the instant target.  This happened in a H-Pit of Saron earlier this week – tank ran ahead (out of range of me), grabbed two packs (the skellies and the necromancer types), and died.  Now, what else happened?

  • Three party members were cursed. The mage in the group couldn’t be bothered to decurse. Seriously, folks, if you play a mage or a druid that is not a bear, take a GCD or two and use an ability that, yes, you do actually have. Don’t look to your pally or priest to do it – we can’t! No, we don’t like making you have to stop generating pretty numbers, but a dead party member makes things go that much slower.
  • We got some additional mobs pulled over by AoE…it was accidental, it happens.
  • Life Tap happy warlock – my Holy Shock will heal through maybe two, but LTing yourself under half health? You’re on your own for the remainder of that. (Not surprisingly, he died first.)

When we got back in, the tank insisted he was in range. I knew quite well he wasn’t – the box on Grid gets greyed out, and the spells on my main action bar goes red when my target goes out of range.

Then came the comments about the gear Ali has – 3 piece T9, some ToC5 stuff, and a mix of vendor/crafted items. It’s better than what Rhyane had when she started and about the same as Lanatha.  I warned them upfront about my gear, and it didn’t matter then.  I’ve gotten the majority of my healing gear on my own, same with my newer tanking gear. Anyone who knows me knows that I very rarely ask for help – I know people have better things to do with their time than get Ali geared.

Back to the point, though, I decided to cut my losses at that point. I apologized and said they should find a better geared healer, then left.  I haven’t been back in an instance since then on any of my characters, nor do I intend to for a while.

Does it bother me? Yes. I want to get better gear, but not at the cost of my enjoyment of the game.  It’s already been taken down some to where I don’t play much on Icecrown anymore.

I may be a big proponent of skill meaning more than gear, but hearing people harp on players who aren’t up to their standards has had a bad impact.  Even the best geared players will still mess up – tanks will get too far ahead (yes, it’s happened in other groups…I’ve even seen a guildmate do it), DPS will get stupid and pull aggro, healers will misclick and heal the wrong person at the wrong time or accidentally pull something – we’re human, it happens.

And if you wipe, stop and consider that the next time you go to place blame on just one person in the group.  Slow down, know when to start attacking then stay on target, be situationally aware.  Also remember that you were gearing up at one point in time, too. Have a little patience and keep the negative comments to yourself.